Have you ever experienced a time in your life, when God was more of an afterthought than an intentional thought?
For many years, I felt disconnected from God, but didn't know why. It was as if God was in this neat little box called "Sunday". On Sundays, I did all the right things (well, maybe not all the right things), prayed all the right prayers, went to church (where I don't think I even knew anybody sitting around me. How sad is that?). I cycled through the motions, yet there was something missing.
Don't get me wrong, I loved God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, but I didn't really "get it."
At age 17 I found myself pregnant. My family was very supportive, but it was a very tough time for me. I didn't feel I was ready to be a mother, and understandably so; until at one point I had a scare with pain and cramping. Faced with the possibility of miscarrying, it was then that I knew I wanted that baby more than anything.
At age 18 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I hadn't picked out a name because I was positive I was going to have a girl. Imagine my surprise when I heard "It's A Boy!" On that day Michael, was born. I may have not known which name to choose, but God knew his name before the foundations of the earth.
It was hard feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere. My friends weren't having to deal with dirty diapers and breastfeeding! They thought he was cute and wanted to hold him, but they didn't have a clue what it was like to care for him 24-7. They had parties to plan, and school functions to attend. My parents were awesome, and they helped me emotionally and financially. The truth is, I still wouldn't have traded my son for anything else in the world.
In 1981 I went to work for a bank, and there I met the love of my life, Brian. We married in 1984, and he adopted Michael soon after that.
It was in 1985 when I heard the salvation message for the first time. It was in a little church that was on fire for Jesus. I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior 27 years ago, and have been serving him ever since. I then truly knew the gift of God's Grace. I had received Grace, me, this girl who had put God in a neat little box called "Sunday."
The Lord changed my life in ways I could never imagine. He took away the shame I felt for so many years, for being an unwed mother who got pregnant just 6 months shy of graduation. Nowadays, it's hardly a stigma, totally accepted in today's society. I would never have considered going to school pregnant, but girls do it all the time now. I didn't even want to leave the house, or go to the mall, or go out anywhere for that matter, because I was so embarrassed and ashamed, as if I was the only one; what a lie that was, huh?
Jesus took my shame and sin to the cross and I no longer had to feel ashamed. I was forgiven of the lifestyle I once lived, that didn't include God Monday-Saturday. His Grace is sufficient and He is all I need. I have been beyond blessed and am extremely grateful for all He has done and continues to do in my life.
I feel that the experience I went through enables me to minister to girls who are going through unplanned pregnancies. I have been through some of the things they're experiencing and feeling. They need to hear that they can be forgiven and that God's Grace is for them too, no matter what they've done, where they've been, or what's been done to them.
All my experiences have caused me to draw closer to the lifeline, the One and Only, my Lord of Lords and King of Kings...My Jesus, my Savior. Take hold of this truth and pray this prayer:
I know that I am a sinner and need Your forgiveness. I believe that You died on the cross for my sins and rose from the grave to give me life. I know You are the only way to God. So now I want to quit disobeying You and start living for You. Please forgive me, change my life and show me how to know You. In Jesus' name. Amen.If you've prayed that prayer with your whole heart, Hallelujah! Welcome to the family of God.
When you become a follower of Jesus heaven celebrates and rejoices with you!
The Bible describes how there is joy in the presence of God's angels when you committed your life to God! Surround yourself with godly friends, and pray God would lead you to a church, solid in Biblical teaching.
I would love for you to share a comment about your new walk with Christ!
Love In Him,